The Golden Judge

He realized suddenly it was probably a judge, and that the
golden coin in his pocket had turned this costly mechanism into an
anachronism. Nobody used the World Court any more now.
The other result of the Saar toss was, from the viewpoint of world
jurisprudence, far more important. It transformed the Golden Judge from
a mere tradition into an established legal institution, in this manner:
France and Germany had been unable to agree whether the Saar was really
_tossable_--a term that soon entered dictionaries--and had appealed to
the United Nations to decide. A temporary or _ad hoc_ United Nations
commission had been named to settle this point and, after due
deliberation, had pronounced the Saar tossable.
Technically, this "Saar Commission" should have then dissolved itself.
Instead, in the way of parliamentary institutions, it lingered on and
soon became the accepted body to decide on tossability. And,
illogically, it was forever afterwards still called the "Saar
Commission."
Whenever, anywhere in the world, some international dispute reached
stalemate, it became commonplace for some delegate to rise and say: "Mr.
Chairman, I move the question be referred to the Saar Commission."
In due course, the Saar Commission would then give its solemn judgment
as to whether or not the dispute should be put to the arbitrament of the
Golden Judge. If so, General O'Reilly would board a plane, and be off.
Once the Saar Commission had its say, no nation ever dared refuse to put
a dispute to the hazard of the coin. Whereas nations yawned at being
called "warmongers" or "imperialists" or "aggressors" or "international
bandits," none could stand being called "bad sportsmen" or "poor
losers." So many nations had accepted the verdict of the Golden Judge,
that it became increasingly more difficult, not to say impossible, for a
given nation to admit it was less sporting than the others.
     *     *     *     *     *
However, not all disputes were held tossable, to the disappointment of
some people who had too quickly believed the Golden Judge would bring
immediate Utopia, the end of all quarreling forever. Gradually the Saar
Commission evolved certain criteria:
1. A dispute was not tossable if it might give great populations and
great nations over into systems of government they abhorred; it was
tossable only if the population involved had no very great bias one way
or the other.
2. A tossable dispute was one in which justice lay on both sides, evenly
balanced.
3. Tossing was clearly indicated where both sides ardently wished a
settlement, but where neither side was willing to cede an inch, for fear
of losing "face."
Thus the Saar Commission pronounced untossable the proposal by the
Soviet Union to have the Golden Judge decide whether or not America
should abandon all her overseas bases. It also turned down the
suggestion of an American senator that Russia and the United States
should toss for Soviet withdrawal from all Eastern Europe. It denied the
appeal of an idealistic Dane who wanted a toss to decide whether Germany
should be all Communist or all-Western. It likewise