Bread Overhead

responsible for those?"

"Yes, sir. Last-minute recalculations showed that the extra lightness of
the new loaf might be great enough to cause drift during stackage.
Drafts in stores might topple sales pyramids. Metal-foil wrappers, by
their added weight, took care of difficulty."

"And you ordered them without consulting the Board?"

"Yes, sir. There was hardly time and--"

"Why, you fool! I noticed that order for metal-foil wrappers, assumed it
was some sub-secretary's mistake, and canceled it last night!"

Roger Snedden turned pale. "You canceled it?" he quavered. "And told
them to go back to lighter plastic wrappers?"

"Of course! Just what is behind all this, Mr. Snedden? _What_
recalculations were you trusting, when our physicists had demonstrated
months ago that the helium loaf was safely stackable in light airs and
gentle breezes--winds up to Beaufort's scale 3. _Why_ should a change
from heavier to lighter wrappers result in complete non-delivery?"

* * * * *

Roger Snedden's paleness became tinged with an interesting green. He
cleared his throat and made strange gulping noises. Tin Philosopher's
photocells focused on him calmly, Rose Thinker's with unfeigned
excitement. P.T. Gryce's frown grew blacker by the moment, while Megera
Winterly's Venus-mask showed an odd dawning of dismay and awe. She was
getting new squawks in her earphones.

"Er ... ah ... er...." Roger said in winning tones. "Well, you see, the
fact is that I...."

"Hold it," Meg interrupted crisply. "Triple-urgent from Public
Relations, Safety Division. Tulsa-Topeka aero-express makes emergency
landing after being buffeted in encounter with vast flight of objects
first described as brown birds, although no failures reported in
airway's electronic anti-bird fences. After grounding safely near
Emporia--no fatalities--pilot's windshield found thinly plastered with
soft white-and-brown material. Emblems on plastic wrappers embedded in
material identify it incontrovertibly as an undetermined number of
Puffyloaves cruising at three thousand feet!"

Eyes and photocells turned inquisitorially upon Roger Snedden. He went
from green to Puffyloaf white and blurted: "All right, I did it, but it
was only way out! Yesterday morning, due to the Ukrainian crisis,
the government stopped sales and deliveries of all strategic stockpiled
materials, including helium gas. Puffy's new program of advertising and
promotion, based on the lighter loaf, was already rolling. There was
only one thing to do, there being only one other gas comparable in
lightness to helium. I diverted necessary quantity of hydrogen gas
from the Hydrogenated Oils Section of our Magna-Margarine Division and
substituted it for the helium."

"You substituted ... hydrogen ... for the ... helium?" Phineas T. Gryce
faltered in low mechanical tones, taking four steps backward.

"Hydrogen is twice as light as helium," Tin Philosopher remarked
judiciously.

"And many times cheaper--did you know that?" Roger countered feebly.
"Yes, I substituted hydrogen. metal-foil wrapping would have added
just enough weight to counteract the greater buoyancy of the hydrogen
loaf. But--"

"So, when this morning's loaves began to arrive on the delivery
platforms of the walking mills...." Tin Philosopher